This would be fuckin’ hot no matter what. The fact he’s in public just adds to the spice. Plus he makes killer faces.
Hot wank
No bonds rule broken.. But wow love he drives off at the end
this dude is way too hot mmmm, hey man let me just give you road head anytime that big yummy cock is hard so you don’t have to pull over ;P
A letter to my future.
Couldn’t share it anywhere since i am still closeted, and also since i am totally a anonymous nobody here might as well type out all my feelings.
Well, i just finished watching <shelter>, and i have to say it is now on my top 10 favorite movies list. I was randomly doing my usual routine, surfing around youtube watching at random video and i came across this movie. It was, really heart-warming.
For a closeted guy like me, it is always tempted to watch these kind of confuse or closeted and ended up finding a right guy, afterwards another pain in the heart for realizing it was not happening on yourself.
The point of typing this is also to express my fucking feelings out, like, i am in between sad and relieved? It’s like watching this movie made me believe, that sooner or later, or in the far future i’ll find my man, and yes, I am certain.
However the sad part is, i have no idea how my parents, friends or even random people who knows my existence thinks and feels about it. Yea yea yea, movies and everything tried hard to emphasize about YOLO. Life too short to even care at all, since you only live once. But, to be fair, people around do too, and this decision might hurt somebody you really care about.
Being a son, I really find it hard and nervous about how one day, if my mom finds out that i am gay, how i am supposed to react? i mean, i’ve been caught surfing gay website in a very young age but i lied it off saying it was virus or anything i forgot, and there was once, i cried, but mom just told me don’t be a psychopath and walked off my room. Haha, it sounded like my mom’s a bad person, but actually she isn’t. She really does love me very much, but i think at that time, she herself also didn’t know how to react and responded to me in a harsh way which she did not even noticed.
I tried hard to resist making random imagination that i’ve met my Mr. Right and i start off with an amazing life journey with him, but i really can’t help it. Every night at bed if i can’t sleep, mostly happened because i was thinking too much of this fake fantasy which heh, who i am lying, never even happen once, not even near to a chance.
I’ve spent my time looking at picture of hot guys, jerking off to seancody’s porn, watching romantic gay movies, reading gay bloggers/youtubers/anygaycouples that exist, to give myself hope, and more materials to imagine. And everytime i’m done with it, i feel pathetic, like.. sometimes i am just pathetic. Lying there on the bed, uselessly and hopelessly dreaming about something, where i did not even make a god damn move to make this so called dreams and fantasy into reality!
I am so angry of myself that sometimes i just break down and cry in the bathroom, in my room, or in anywhere as long as i am alone. I am those kind of person who does not like to cry in front of people, Yes i shared my problems and vulnerability with my friends, but i tried fucking hard not to cry. I do not want people to see my weakness. But yea, in my fucking brain right now while i am typing this i HOPE my tears could save for the one i love. Someone who would truly understand my pain and accept my flaws and all. Somebody who would said “hush, i am here for you’ whenever my tears are rolling down. Basically, somebody who would also do the same, who would shed a tear, for me.
Now, i am restlessly staring at screen, trying to think so what if i typed this out, nobody’s going to read it, you’re an anonymous. True, but i am hoping one day. i would find the one, and let him read this piece of article which i write for my present and future self, to read back how my past self has lived his life. Eventually, also letting my future one, to see how my past self was, and look to my future self’s eyes, and say…
-‘I see, and i love you’
Day 7 and 8
Day 7 Failed! Accidentally slept again due to a long day of class.
For day 8, same shit happened but thanks to the lecturer who cancelled the morning class on the next thing, managed to work out at 12.
Peace out!
Day 7 (first week completed)
I have finished day 7! Can’t believe I really had the determination yo! But anyways, I didn’t have school much so it was pretty easy, tmr school considered officially starting so I better be prepared for more challenge!
One thing keep in mind : diet! No more excuses of eating too much during dinner time while I’m out, tell yourself to control while ordering yo!! Alright, signing off! Will do a video log tmr! Peace out!
